Finding Myself. . .

They say they care

And I wonder how

Hurting where it does

Tearless eyes will bow

It's all in game

When you parry emotions

I am already bleeding

And here comes caution

Please count me out

I am an ignorant

But I will play

When I have learn

Let me hold on

That I may fall

Then I will come

Who ever will call

It’s like to vacillate

As you say it

I fall for you

Then I must quit

Don’t ask for promises

As one can’t keep

When hurt is done

Left alone to weep

Me & My Thoughts...

I sit and wonder,

If maybe I shouldn't be here.

I look at myself,

And wonder if maybe I deserve to die.

I sit and wonder,

If maybe,

Everyone will be better off without me.

Will I truly ever be happy?

Will I ever have love?

Will I ever love?

Then I look at little Drew,

And I see the innocence and trust.

I know that there is always some kind of love for me.

Such a tiny baby,

When he was born,

Now so long.

I know he loves me

In the way that only children can love.

I look at his mother,

My best friend,

And I see her love for me.

And I know that she will shed tears for me

Should I leave this world?

I look at my mother,

And wonder

What she would do without me

If I leave before her.

Then I look at Sonya,

And know that she to cares for me.

I know that she would feel the pain,

Like know one else,

Because that is her.

Then I once again look at myself.

I see what I can be,

With a little time and patience.

I know now that I have a bright future.

I hope and pray for God's guidance.

I have received it.

I am happy.

I am content.

I am,

Me.
I know that now.

I know that

You will stand next to me,

Making me happy.

Drew will grow

And give me happiness

As he says his first word.

I know that my mother

Will help me through all

The hard ships that are to come.

I know that God and Jesus is next to me,

Whispering words of encouragement

As I walk down my chosen path.

I know that I have truly been blessed.

I have found myself,

Have you?

New Day Is Still to come...

Reflecting, reviewing, relishing, renewing, regretting...

Looking back at the time with nostalgic Moments…

Thinking about the time of perturbed mind...

Introspecting about Decisions...

What Was Right ... What was Wrong...

What we received…what we got….

What we wanted ….. What we did not…

What we said…. what we meant…

What we sent....but what went...

What we lost... regained … wasted …retained...

What we learnt…what we knew...

what was waning...what was dimming out... 

What hurt...what pleased... 

what remained...what ceased... 

What succeeded…what failed…

what sank...what sailed…

What stayed... what vanished...

What was quiet…what played.... 

what went...what stayed...

What we learnt… what we forgot…what we remembered….what we did not…

As these thoughts cross the mind...conflicting emotions unwind…

Some sadness some fear… some joy some cheer

But there’s no time for regret as we should never forget..

Yesterday has gone by….but a New Day is here… 

Making a wish to regain my childhood, my innocence back...

With a new beggining to look forward.

With a new Experience to share off,

To shed off days with tears.